Dial Y for Yush
by SSX
Summary: [Rockman.EXE] A new hero has come to town! Watch out for Neko Viruses and hammers, though. WIP, never finished, and it probably will take some time. Colaboration with Song and a lot of people.
1. In the beginning, there was stupidity

TITLE: Dial Y for Yush   
AUTHORS: SSX, Song, and a shitload of contributors.  
FEEDBACK: Most certainly loved.  
RATING: PG-13 for innuendo and Naomese. Beware! You may catch it! We know, we did.  
CATEGORY: Humor/Parody. Yuuichiroulicious. (Yes, that is a category. XD)  
DISCLAIMER: Yuuichirou Hikari doesn't belongs to us. Neither do Rush, Meijin, and everybody else on this fanfic, they belong to CAPCOM and all the people behind the creation of Rockman.EXE. However, Yush is ours, so no stealies. And Emdee happens to be Shi's. Any references we might make to other series, animes, games, characters and what else not, are merely references, not something we actually own, thus they belong to their proper authors.  
AUTHORS' NOTE: This fanfic is meant to be stupid and (presumably) funny. That's what "parody" stands for. Yush is our own twisted way to critique what we think it's bad fanfiction. Thus, the madness. We apologize for the seizures this fanfic might cause. Throw bricks at will. :3

* * *

It was a dark night in Akihara. Peace and quietness all around, nothing seemed to disturb th--

"Uh, Hikari-hakase, do you think this is okay?"

"Of course it is! We'll stop it right here."

Two shadowy figures were standing at the top of a building.

"But... what about the people--"

"Yes! _People_! We need public, Meijin, bring it over here!"

"...I guess it's pointless to argue with you, sir..."

"That's right! We shall show the world our mighty technique!"

The building they were standing in started to tremble.

"Here it comes, Meijin! Turn on those lights now! Maybe a passerby will see me and he'll spread the word of my mighty figure! Hmm, that'd be good... just think about the girls! Ooh..."

"...Hikari-hakase... are you really going to fight THAT?"

"Bah, big deal - you know I have enough power to fight it."

"...Hikari-hakase, that virus is easily twice the size of this building."

Both figures were watching another approaching figure.

"So what? Turn on the lights, you'll see I can get rid of that thing in a matter of seconds!"

Somehow, Meijin Eguchi wasn't so sure about the other figure's confidence, as he watched the shadow approach. The building trembled even harder.

"If you're sure this'll work... good luck, Hikari-hakase. I'll provide you with chips whenever it's necessary."

Meijin approached the big power switch behind him. It was mysteriously shaped as a big red button. Meijin sweatdropped - the writers were low on budget again, he could see.

"Thank you, Meijin! You'll see justice will prevail, and my mighty technique shall impress everyone!"

"Yes, Hikari-hakase."

"Don't be calling me Hikari-hakase... who knows, the enemy would've sent spies in order to discover my true identity! Now, we can't let them find out, eh?"

Meijin pushed the big red button, feeling more stupid as the seconds flew by, and the trembling became more powerful. "Yes, Hi-- I mean... Yush-sama."

"Hah! Leave it to me!" The figure called 'Yush-sama' flashed a winning smile. A swift reach into his pocket, and 'Yush-sama' produced a large red voice amplifier. Why red? Because the authors were too lazy to think up a different colour, that's why.

"HEY, YOU BIG UGLY YET NOBLE CREATURE!"

Meijin decided to remind silent. Yeah, that'd be wise.

"YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU, CAT-THING!"

The big figure, which turned to be a huge red cat, looked at the source of the noise.

"I'M TALKING TO YOU, CAT! YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF YOUR KIND I'VE SCARED WITH MY BARKING?"

The cat approached the building Yush and Meijin were standing in. Meijin wasn't sure whether to feel afraid or utterly embarrased.

"AND YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE JUST A PAIN IN THE NIGHTS WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, YOU SNEAKY, FLUFFY AND DISGUSTING CREATURE! LAZY GARFIELD WANNABE!" How 'Yush-sama' knew about Garfield all the way from Japan was unknown, but the authors didn't really care. Neither did they care about making a plot.

"Ahem! I'm trying to kick a huge cat's ass here, hello?"

Eh, right.

"Thank you." Yush faced the Neko Virus again. "COME HERE AND FIGHT!"

The Neko Virus pondered about it for a moment.

"WHAT? ARE YOU POSSIBLY AFRAID OF ME?" Yush cackled at the feline creature.

A typical anime-like angry vein popped on the virii's head, and the Neko Virus directed a big paw towards Yush's direction. "Hah!" said Yush, while putting back the voice amplifier from wherever it came from. "Predictable, like everybody else!"

Meijin rolled his eyes, a bit annoyed at Yush's cockyness. "What 'everybody else'...? This is the first enemy he fights against."

His comment, however, died when Yush yelled at the top of his lungs his characteristical battlecry. "FOR GREAT JUSTICE! YUSH ATTACK OF DOOM!"

Yush ran towards the falling paw, gathering energy in his right hand.

Meijin decided it was best not to look at the impending tragedy. He just slotted-in a Barrier battle chip on the Chip Gate, and waited. "That's gonna hurt."

"Ha ha! Your puny paw won't defeat me that easily! You'll see that I'll defeat you with this one finger! Come on, hit me if you ca--"

SPLAT

"...just as I thought."

* * *

Read and review, if you still have braincells to do so. XD 


	2. Another ceiling

_Disclaimer on part 1._

_

* * *

_

Yuuichirou woke up to the sound of silence.

Yes, silence. Because the authors already spent their entire budget on sound effects for the Neko Virus.

The scientist allowed his eyes to adjust to the bright light on the room, and tried to recall what he had done last summer. Er, yesterday. Last summer's events with Haruka were best left unsaid. Yes.

He stared at the ceiling. "...Who left that bubblegum there?" he wondered. "... Even better, HOW did they leave it up there?"

Rather than wondering that, Yuuichirou let himself loose on the train of his thoughts. And whatever you just thought, that's not it. Like what he would do with Haruka next summer. Yeah.

Cue to ominous flashback sequences.

-o-

Oh, hi there. This is me, Yuuichirou Hikari, doing the narration from now on. Yeah, um. Well, since the flashback is on my own point of view, I thought I could explain a bit about it. So you people won't get confused. Right. As if you weren't already.

It all started when Meijin-san and I were doing experiments regarding the Synchro Chip...

"Are you sure you want to do this, Hikari-hakase?" Meijin said.

"Yes." I said, while making sure that all the programs and machines were on and working properly.

"But... why do we need these outfits?"

"They... um... increase the synchro rate."

"... right."

"Excellent! Now, is everything set up?" I would never admit to him that I actually liked the suits. Um, yeah. "Emdee? How are things over there?"

"Everything's working perfectly, Hikari-hakase." replied Emdee, my Net Navi. Yes, I own a Net Navi. Since when, you ask? Well...er...I'm telling you about this, don't ask questions. Er... back to narration, yeah...

_-o- __Meanwhile, on the Hikari household... -o-_

"Make sure to send this mail to Papa, Rush!" said one Hikari Netto, while delivering him an e-card greeting.

"Aup!" was Rush's response.

Netto smiled. "Good boy. Good fido."

"Aup!" was his response.

"...can you say something besides 'aup'?"

"Aup!"

"I thought so."

_-o- Scene change thingy back to Meijin and I... -o-_

"Is all of this machinery really necessary?"

"... but... it's funky machinery..."

"Er..."

"...I said that out loud, did I?"

Mental note: Think of things before saying them out loud.

Yes. Uh. Narration.

"I guess we're ready to begin the experiment."

___-o- Rush's POV -o-_

"Aup! Aup aup?" Aup aup aup. Aup... aup aup!

_____-o- Back to the Hikari Labs... -o-  
_

"At the count of three..."

_____-o- Emdee's POV -o-  
_

Emdee stood on the platform, waiting for his data to get transfered.

_____-o- Rush's... -o-_

"Aup!"

_______-o- Yuu's... -o-_

"Two..."

_________-o- Emdee's... -o-_

Emdee looked down after feeling the lose of a solid matter under his feet.

___________-o- Yuu's...-o-_

"One..."

___________-o- Rush's... -o-_

"Aup? Aup aup!"

Emdee stared at the virus dog for a second, just when he confirmed there was, indeed, something missing.

Namely, the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

And down the hole poor Emdee go.

"Aup?" Rush got out of the black hole, which was closed instantly. "Aup? Aup?"

___________-o- Yuu's... -o-_

"...what is Rush doing there?"

"Uh?"

_________flick_

"Meijin-san?"

"Um... I think this might be a bad sign." I looked at Meijin from my position. I should've know his sweatdropping wasn't a good sign at all.

"Hikari-hakase, umm... I think we've got a problem..."

"Hm?"

"There... er... seems to be a problem with our other test subject."

"...but I just flicked the switch."

**_________VROOOOM_**

I turned to look at the monitor screen. "...oh. I guess we're in trouble now, mama."

"...what?"

"... I said that aloud again, didn't I?"

"Yes. Yes, you did."

The last thing I remember is being engulfed by some sort of light...

-o-_________ end of flashback_ -o-

Yuuichirou couldn't remember any more of it. He didn't really want to, though. "... Damn crack inspired hippie dreams."

"Aup?"

"AAAH! Rush!" The poor scientist was harshly taken out of his reverie by the virus dog, who just smiled at him and said the most impacting line of all time.

"Aup! Aup aup!"

The images flooded back into Yuuichirou's brain, and then it was when he finally remembered.

"... did we really do that last night?"

"Aup!"

"...oh lord..."

* * *

Perrrverts. XD 

A huge thank you to Naomi, Sora, Achie and Neko for beta-testing this, aiding on the storyline, and making my abs workout for free. (OMGOMG YUU IN A SPEEDO XD) Anyway, the next chapter's on the way, hopefully. Read and review, please:D

"-hakase": Doctor. Thus, Hikari-hakase means "Dr. Hikari".


	3. Of boring battles and popcorns

_Disclaimer on part 1._

* * *

_Hikari Labs Security Video - Record #111194_

Yuuichirou sat down on the chair, Rush and Meijin at his side.

"Aup?" asked Rush.

"The popcorn isn't done yet," Meijin answered.

"Um... what are we doing here anyway?" asked Yuuichirou.

"This is the record we got from the security videos on your fight against the Neko Virus, sir."

"...I know that. I was wondering why we are in a movie theater."

"There were no other rooms available, Hikari-hakase" answered Meijin.

_PING!_

"Aup!" the virus dog happily ran to the microwave and retrieved the popcorn. Yuuichirou reached for the bowl when Rush returned, but the virus hugged the bowl away.

"But... I want popcorn, too..." pouted the scientist.

"Shh! I think the movie is about to start."

"Oh! Movie! Movie!" Yuuichirou inmediatly forgot about the popcorn and sat, eyes fixed on the TV screen. Technically, it should have been a movie screen. But the authors had such a small budget, they couldn't afford one.

"Wait... I thought there was a movie screen a minute before."

"Low budget."

"...Oh, right."

_The Hikari Labs are proud to present..._

**_"YUSH VS NEKOZILLA!"_**

**_The final match between good and evil!_**

_Direction and script by Yush_

_Battle Chips provided by Meijin Eguchi_

_**CHAPTER 1  
**_

_A NEW HERO HAS BORN: YUSH! CREATED AFTER A FAILED  
CROSS FUSION EXPERIMENT, THIS HERO ACCIDENTALLY  
RELEASED THE EVIL NEKO VIRUS INTO THE  
REAL WORLD._

"...what's with the Star Wars credits?" wondered Yuuichirou out loud.

"Er... Rush took the liberty to make some... um... adjustments to the security video, Hikari-hakase."

"Aup!" barked Rush, proudly.

"...Nevermind..."

_YUSH NOW SEEKS TO RECAPTURE THE EVIL FIEND  
AND PUT HIM BACK WHERE HE BELONGS,  
WHEREVER THAT'D BE.  
THE BATTLE WENT  
AS FOLLOWS..._

As the battle previously narrated on this story's prologue unfolded before Yuuichirou, Rush and Meijin's eyes, Yuuichirou realized that this would, in fact, be better with popcorn. Reaching over to Rush and tapping the dog on the shoulder, he whispered, "Give me some popcorn, Rush."

"AUP."

"GIVE ME THE POPCORN, RUSH."

Rush growled, hugging the bowl again.

"No virus treats for you, then!"

"...Auuuup..."

"You brought it upon yourself, little mister."

Rush reached for the bowl to hand it to Yuu, but when he brought his hand around, it wasn't there. Both Yuuichirou and Rush had a "FTW" moment. Then, they heard munching behind them.

"... what?" Meijin looked at them innocently, a handful of popcorn about to be put in his mouth.

"...You're eating our popcorn, that's what!"

"Uh... eh... look! The movie!"

_Yush landed on the ground, not too far away. Standing up, he wobbled a bit, then shook his head. When he finally came to his senses, he glared at the Neko Virus. "Oh, you did NOT just do that!"_

"...aup aup aup?"

"...no, for the nth time, that outfit doesn't makes you look fat, Rush." said an annoyed Meijin.

_"Wanna know WHY you didn't just do that?" Yush continued on, strutting up to the Neko Virus. "Because YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS." And with that, he took out a giant hammer from seemingly nowhere, and hit the Neko Virus on the toe_.

"I shouldn't listen to that oldies' radio station..." said an utterly embarrased Yuuichirou.

_The giant virus let out a meow that sounded somewhere between a snarl and a cry of pain._

_"Hah! Yush has once again pwn'd the Neko Virus! Oh yeah, go me, oh yeah." he danced again._

"Your moves are quite good for someone who just entered mambo classes, Hikari-hakase."

"Not a word, Meijin."

_The enormous cat stared deeply into Yush's eyes._

_Yush returned the glare. "Glaring contest!"_

"...Hikari-hakase, would you really have a glaring contest with a cat that could easily squish you at any moment?"

"...Just watch the movie."

_The cat and the... er... cross fusioned thing that resembled Yuuichirou, stared at each other some more._

_Way up, on the building's roof, Meijin stared at the so-called battle scene. "...This is stupid."_

"And it was."

"Hush, Meijin."

_"..." The over grown cat's eyes sparked with evil inspiration and a gaging, hacking sound rumbled within it's throat._

_"Er... Are you okay?" Yush asked, scooching back a few steps._

_Before he could react, the cat's jaw dropped and spat a large, furry projectile into Yush's face._

_"... That is so gross..." Yush muttered as he wiped away the furry ball._

_"Meew! Meer meow!"_

_"... You did NOT win! You CHEATED!"_

"...no matter what you say, this _is_ stupid."

"...I hate to agree, but you're right, Meijin."

Rush, however, was staring at the TV screen, eating popcorn after popcorn, completely amused. "AUP!"

"...this is getting tiresome." Yuuichirou grabbed the remote and fast-forwarded the movie 30 minutes.

"AUP!" the virus dog stared angrily at Yuuichirou.

"Remember the virus treats, Rush."

"...aup." Rush slumped back on his seat, defeated.

_Yush and the Neko virus laid across the pavement, both exhausted and out of breath. Yush slowly forced himself into a sitting position. "... Okay... You win... the thumb war round... but let's see how you handle Rock Paper Scissors!"_

"...Hikari-hakase?"

"Yes?"

"...How exactly is a cat supposed to play Rock Paper Scissors?"

"How should I know?" shrugged the poor scientist.

"Also... how could you play a thumbs war against something as big as a building, Hikari-hakase?"

"I actually wondered that too, Meijin, but I guess your head won't hurt if you don't think about it."

"Eh...okay."

Somewhere else, far, far away, there was a fangirl, watching Futurama, and cackling evilly. Her plan to screw up Meijin and Yuuichirou's head was perfect. But let's not get there.

"_Mraor!"_

_"What do you mean, Top Gun! You never said anything about Top Gun!"_

"... what's "Top Gun"?" asked Meijin.

"...you think I know?" answered Yuuichirou.

In the world of the authors, one turned to the other. "...What IS Top Gun?"

"... how did I know you were going to ask that?"

_After pointless and seeminlgy endless battles, both virus and cross fusion-thing were still standing._

_"...oh, COME ON!" Meijin yelled to both, utterly annoyed. He threw an empty Dr. Pepper can at the Neko Virus, hitting it squarely on the head._

_The Neko Virus' eyes swirled, and it fell to the ground, KOed._

"...that's all!"

"...I'm afraid so, Hikari-hakase."

"Aup. Aup aup aup."

"...Yes, we know it was stupid, Rush." Meijin said.

"Auuuup. Aup aup, aupup."

"...May I remind you we control the supply of virus treats?"

"...aup..."

_Meijin stared at the now unconscious virus. Yush would've stared, too, if he hadn't been squashed by the Neko Virus._

_Looking around and seeing no Yush, Meijin realized what must've happened. "...Oops."_

_Meijin finally spotted a KOed Yuuichirou, lying next to an also KOed Rush._

**THE END**

Yuuichirou stopped the tape just before the end credits -with a music background that suspiciously resembled the Star Wars theme song- began.

"Meijin?"

"Yes, Hikari-hakase?"

"Remind me to never, ever do that again."

"...Sure thing, Hikari-hakase."

* * *

SSX: I probably forgot to add a couple of bold words, but I am sleepy. Hear me snore. z 

Naomese! Your #1 source for funny words like "FTW"! XD shot


	4. Quickie

_Disclaimer on part 1_

* * *

Emdee landed on something soft. 

He considered the posibilities of what it could be. That ruled out pretty much everything, except for Blues' ass. But let's not get there.

"Hikari-hakase!" Emdee called out for his operator, but he got no response. He looked around, trying to find out where he was. Aside from a group of dancing Mettool who looked a lot like the Backstreet Boys, he didn't see very much.

He noticed a menacing shadow as well, but he didn't pay attention to it.

"...oh, you WHIPPIE WHOOPIE BOOPIE! HOW CUTE!"

Emdee regretted not having run when he had the chance. Dearly.

-o-

"I have the nagging feeling we've forgotten something" said Yuuichirou.

"What would that be?" replied Meijin.

"...I dunno. I can't quite put the finger on it." The sexy bishonen named Yuuichirou scratched his head in confusion.

"Aup! Aup aup... aup aup, aup! Aup?" barked the non-bishonen-yet-sexy-dog Rush in response.

The ultra-super-sexy bishonen named Meijin Eguchi looked at the digital dog, puzzled. "...oh no!" he gasped. "You're saying Emdee fell into one of your holes and became lost at the NetCity park, which was the place you teleported from, and you're not sure if he's even there at the moment?"

Rush nodded. "Aup!"

Yuuichirou looked at his male companion. "How did you..."

"I'm just THAT good."

"Uh... right." Better not to think about it. Yeah. That'd work.

"We need to check at the NetCity park. Maybe we can find clues there." said Meijin, running a hand through his hair, in a bishounen fashion.

"Aup, aupup aup?"

"...Well, I guess you could say this IS a little like a mystery..."

"Aup aup aup?"

"...No, we can NOT wear Sherlock Holmes outfits."

"...Aup..."

-o-

Emdee woke up later, not knowing how long he had been knocked out, nor did he remember ever being knocked out.

He blinked, then realized the position and situation he was in currently.

"Umm... if you could be so kind, would you tell me what you're doing?"

The female figure, also known as Emdee's mysterious kidnapper, smiled to him. "I'm afraid I can't tell you" she said. "But I can let you ask something else, instead."

Emdee noticed the sparkly object the female Navi was wielding on her right hand, and gulped. "Should I be afraid?"

"Uh..." the kidnapper looked at the object she had on her hand. "Yes, I think so."

"Er... thanks for letting me know... I guess."

"No problem." That smile of hers was scary.

Emdee proceeded then to pray for his dear life.

* * *

SSX: Sorry about the shortness and lateness of this chapter. Hopefully we'll come up with something good for next time. :D 


End file.
